Sexual Fantasies
They're Normal and Can Be a Healthy Part of Your Intimacy

Sexual Fantasies

You may be relieved to know that women fantasize sexually just as much as men do. In fact, only a very small percentage of people (either male or female) have no sexual fantasies at all. As a rule, these fantasies are not something we vocalize on a regular basis. They are our very personal secret thoughts, daydreams, mental images and even our wishful thinking. We tend to keep our fantasies "secret" for fear of what others might think of us if we expressed them.

We must understand that fantasy is a fundamental part of human nature. Our fantasy world is a huge part of us when we are children and we never grow out of that (thank goodness). The only difference is that the actual things we fantasize about mature and change. At times our fantasies play themselves out even when we are sleeping proving there's no way of escaping them completely. So why not accept and embrace your fantasies and give yourself permission to use them to have a more fulfilling sex life whether you're single or trying to improve intimacy with your partner?

Did you know that some women use sexual fantasy to make themselves feel sexier or to enable them to reach orgasm? Others use it to help themselves unwind and relax at the end of an unusually stressful day. We can even draw on sexual fantasy for help when life presents changes or challenges. Women have even been known to use their "imagination" to help rebuild sexual desire and enhance their self-esteem after physical traumas such as undergoing a mastectomy or hysterectomy, for example.

So, yes, our sexual fantasies can be a wonderful and powerful phenomenon. Isn't it nice to know that everyone has them? That you are not perverted or weird because you do?

Fantasies are a safe place where we can act out things we might never do in real life, such as having sex with a particular co-worker we find sexy or maybe having sex in public where you know you're being watched. Sometimes, the fact that our fantasies are not based in reality is where the actual turn-on lies.

Some women worry that fantasizing about the cute guy at the market or their child's "hot" teacher, for instance, is a betrayal to their spouse and is really a desire to be unfaithful. In fact, this is very rarely the case. Evidence shows that a large percentage of those who have the most vivid and imaginative fantasies are in trusting, happy, loving, relationships. For them it's a safe place to let the mind explore places that the body has absolutely no intention of visiting.

The Benefits of Having Sexual Fantasies.

Especially for women, sex starts in our minds. An active imagination when it comes to sexy thoughts can mean you're ready for sex way before anything physical actually happens. When it does happen desire is heightened and arousal is much quicker.

Many people who have been with the same partner for many years find that sexual fantasy can add novelty and creativity to their intimate relationships.

If you are a bit on the shy or conservative side (finding it uncomfortable to experiment sexually), fantasy offers you the liberty to give your imagination free reign and open your mind to trying new things. Use it as an opportunity to practice and build confidence before attempting "something new."

Therapists have found that fantasy is useful in helping patients overcome sexual problems. Through fantasy, many individuals have worked with their therapists to confront fearful and troubling events that affect their ability to be sexually healthy. Many have either reduced or completely overcome their anxieties.

Should You Share Your Fantasies With Your Partner? That depends on how you think your partner might react. Some couples have found that sharing and acting out their fantasies increased trust, intimacy, and excitement, however, the result has been quite the opposite for others. Although it's possible that sharing your fantasies can be liberating, understand that it's not always the case. There are risks involved in disclosing your fantasies to your partner, especially if you care deeply for them. Take into consideration how you'll deal with the situation if they don't like your fantasy or if you try acting it out and it bombs. Open communication here is important. You might want to try talking with your partner about fantasies in general first and if that goes over well, approach discussing your particular fantasy with caution and care. If he's open and excited about it he might even suggest acting it out.

Can the Art of Fantasizing be Learned or Improved?

Absolutely! If the thought of having sexual fantasies makes you a bit uncomfortable, it's something you can certainly work on. Go to a book store (or online) and find some good Erotica (i.e, books, magazines, cd's). Explore the idea of getting a few videos to watch. You might want to start with something romantic (but with a sexy twist) and move your way up to more explicit films. There is a huge range of material available in this media.

Some of the Most Popular FEMALE Fantasies