Pregnancy and Sex.
How it Can Affect Your Desire and Ability to Be Intimate.

Pregnancy is an exciting, miraculous, and sometimes overwhelming time for couples (especially if it's the first time around). It can bring all types of changes to their relationship and one of these changes to consider should be their sexual relationship (both during and after the pregnancy). Yes, things are going to be different sexually but that certainly doesn't have to be a bad thing. In fact sometimes, sex even gets better!

Just like anything that involves sex, what one couple experiences can be quite different from another. Open communication is essential during your pregnancy (you'll hear me say this several times in this article because it's so important). You need to encourage each other to express what you're going through both physically and emotionally during this major time in your lives. This is especially crucial if either of you are having mixed feelings about having sex while the baby is developing inside. You both (as a couple) still need to take time for intimacy during pregnancy (possibly more so than at any other time). You just might find that you need to use some creativity when it comes to the actual act of "sexual intercourse".

Is It Safe To Have Sex During Pregnancy?

It's imperative that you talk to your doctor about your particular situation, but, if your pregnancy is considered "normal", then there's a good chance it's safe to have sex right up until the time your water breaks (after this happens NOTHING should enter the vagina). A normal pregnancy means that you don't have "high-risk" issues such as a history of miscarriages or pre-term labor (meaning you've had a premature baby in the past). Other high-risk factors might include: heavy vaginal bleeding, unusual discharge, heavy cramping, leakage of the amniotic fluid, and if you're carrying more than one baby (twins).

Note: As long as your pregnancy is normal, having intercourse and/or orgasms during pregnancy cannot cause you to miscarry your baby. The type of contractions you have during an orgasm are completely different than the ones you have during labor. However, your doctor may suggest that you stop having sex during the final few weeks of your pregnancy. Semen contains a chemical that may bring on contractions so this is just a safety precaution that some doctors practice. But, again, check with your particular doctor to see what he/she thinks about this.

Can Sex During Pregnancy Be Detrimental to The Baby?

Your baby is safer in the environment of your womb than at any other time in its life. It's protected by the amniotic sac and your strong uterine muscles. The thick mucus plug that seals the cervix during your pregnancy will safeguard against infections. During sex, the penis cannot come into contact with the fetus.

Do Women Lose Their Sex Drive During Pregnancy?

Again, this varies from woman to woman. The female body goes through numerous hormonal fluctuations during her pregnancy. For some women this can cause an increased sex drive and for other women, not so much. The first trimester of pregnancy can bring the most challenges for some women. That's when the feelings of fatigue, breast tenderness, nausea and the increased need to urinate can be the most pronounced (and who feels sexy then?)

But once these discomforts pass, some women find that they get their sex drive back and sometimes it comes back with a vengeance! Pregnancy brings on an elevated blood flow to the pelvic area that causes the genitals to become engorged and provides increased vaginal lubrication. This is normal and can even amplify erotic sensations during intercourse. The breast tenderness turns into a heightened sensitivity in the breasts which can become really sexy. This, combined with a "special" closeness they feel with their partner during this time, can give some women the most exciting sex (and best orgasms) they've ever had.

Speaking of pregnancy orgasms, they can be wonderfully intense and satisfying. The increased fluids in the vaginal area can make the vagina and clitoris more sensitive and some women report experiencing multiple orgasms for the very first time! It's important to note that orgasms can be good for your baby as well, since he also experiences the euphoric hormone rush that happens. And since the uterus is bigger the orgasm contractions are bigger (BONUS)!

On the flip side of all this, there are some women who experience a decreased sex drive throughout most of their pregnancy. The reasons for this can vary. Some women just don't feel sexy because of the physical changes in their body, whether it be their size, breast tenderness, fear of hurting the baby, etc. At these times especially, open communication with your partner is essential. You can still find ways to experience intimacy such as massages, kissing, caressing, embracing, and having romantic walks and dinners together.

How Can Sex During Pregnancy Be More Comfortable?

As women progress through their pregnancy and their belly gets bigger, the way they had sex pre-pregnancy sometimes becomes uncomfortable. This is where your creativity comes in. Find a way that's not painful or uncomfortable. Some women find that they enjoy being on top because they can control how deep the penis goes in and they can control how much movement feels good.

Other couples find that when she gets on her hands and knees it puts less pressure on her growing stomach. This can bring her some comfort and he can still use his hands to pleasure her as well.

Try using sex toys as aids to help with those "hard-to-reach" areas.

Oral sex is also a great option because there are many positions this can be done in. It's important to note, however, that when he's giving you oral sex, he should NEVER blow air into your vagina. This can cause a blockage of a blood vessel and can be potentially fatal for both you and your child.

Spooning is a great way for pregnant couples to have sex during pregnancy. This is when you lay in bed (or anywhere that's comfortable) on your sides, and he enters you from behind. There's no pressure on the abdomen and it's a perfect way to cuddle as well.

How Do Men Feel About Sex When Their Partner is Pregnant?

While you're feeling huge, uncomfortable or just not sexy, it's quite possible that your partner will find your new "voluptuous" body very desirable and enticing. However, if your partner seems hesitant about sex during your pregnancy it might be for other reasons. The most common reason is because he might be afraid of hurting the baby (and you) and may need reassurance from your doctor that it's safe to proceed with sex. Then, again, some men may be overwhelmed and going through some anxiety of their own over becoming a parent and all the responsibility that brings. Once again, communication between the two of you is key in order to work out these issues and have a healthy sense of intimacy and closeness during this major event in your lives.