Oral Sex. How to Put the OMG Into Your Oral Skills.

When I cover the subject of oral sex at my lingerie parties, I use humor because it's a delicate subject for some women and I find that a little levity puts people more at ease when they're uncomfortable. We discuss how, for some women, giving oral sex can seem like a chore or something that we feel we "must do" now and then because we know how much men like it. Sometimes women even use oral sex as a way to get things for themselves (a new purse, piece of jewelry, a car (ha ha)), or even as a way to smooth over arguments or to negotiate household chores, etc. Doesn't sound very sexy does it?

While I do meet women who tell me they absolutely love giving oral sex to their partners, to be quite honest, they are not in the majority. So, then, we go on to discuss how to make it more enjoyable for us, and as a result making our partners happy because we are willing to perform oral sex more often.

Some of the reasons women may not enjoy giving oral sex is because they don't completely understand how to perform it effectively. It seems to go on forever (thus seeming like a huge effort). They usually just need a little help with new techniques or ideas that they can experiment with so that they can, quite possibly, make it more enjoyable for themselves.

So, having said that, we will begin by talking about "performing" oral sex and later on in this article we will discuss "receiving" it (okay, now you're talking).

Why Do Men Love Getting Oral Sex?

Just envisioning your warm, wet mouth around his penis can drive your partner over the edge with desire. In fact, some men consider it one of their most desired sex acts. Men say that the type of orgasm they get with getting a good "blow job" differs from one during intercourse. The direct focus and attention to his genital area can bring him an intensity and set of sensations that he just doesn't get in any other way.

Some Suggestions on How to Give Great Oral Sex

Get Comfortable

Find a relaxing position for you. If your shoulders, neck and back ache, you're not going to enjoy yourself. Be enthusiastic! I think if you can find a way to show genuine enthusiasm, he's going to know it and have a better time.

"Show Up" and "Tune-In"

Genuinely "tune in" to your partner and give generously. Focus on his body and how it's responding to what you're doing. Encourage him to tell you what he wants you to do and allow him to be explicit when he describes what he wants. Men love this. Being able to communicate to you in this way will definitely increase his excitement. Does he want you to go faster, use your hands more (and in what manner), or use your tongue in a particular way?

Make some Noise

When you're giving oral sex and using your voice at the same time (by humming and moaning). This actually creates a subtle vibrating sensation for him, which adds variety to his experience. Speaking of vibration, experiment with putting small vibrators or bullets up against your cheek or under your chin during oral sex. Your warm mouth vibrating while going up and down on his penis can take oral sex to a whole new level Try it!

Tell him how much you love what you're doing

Make eye contact with him from time to time. Eye contact is "crazy hot" during any sex act and I think an absolute must! In addition, you need to look at him to see how he's reacting and if he's having fun. Remember to stay "tuned-in". It's one of the sexiest things you can do.

Be Careful With Your Teeth

Make sure to cover your teeth with your lips as you're moving up and down his penis. Accidental biting or getting scraped with the edge of your tooth doesn't feel good at all.

Focus on the Head

The head of a man's penis is the most sensitive part. Spend part of your time moving your mouth up and down only this part (as opposed to going down the entire shaft). Remember to flick with the tip of your tongue against the frenulum, which is the tiny indentation under the ridge of the penis head. You should have him squirming all over the place with this technique.

Use Your Tongue While Sucking

Remember to use your tongue a lot! You can open your mouth and lick up and down (and around) his penis or use quick little tongue flickers while your mouth is closed around him. Experiment with switching off between the tip and the flat parts of your tongue. Your tongue is a very powerful tool so don't forget to "work it".

Use your hands in creative ways

Once you've gotten his penis wet and slippery from your mouth, use your hands together with your mouth. You can give him a combination hand/blow job. Your hands can grab him tighter than your mouth can so use them to your advantage.

If he likes to be licked and/or touched on his testicles, then by all means include. But remember to ask him. Some men are too sensitive to let you go there. Also rub his stomach, thighs, nipples, chest or anywhere else that's in reachable distance.

Should You Deep Throat During Oral Sex?

"Deep-throating" means sliding part of the penis down your throat as far as you comfortably can. A lot of men (but not all) like the unique feeling they get from this. If you're comfortable trying it, just note that it might make you feel like gagging or choking (especially at first). Some women can alleviate this reaction by relaxing and breathing through their nose. Most of the time it takes a little practice to become more comfortable with deep-throating and some women find that their bodies just cannot do it (and that's okay).

Masturbation Sleeves

As the ladies at my parties can attest to, I am a HUGE fan of using a masturbation sleeve while giving my partner oral sex. It does all of the "hand" work for me (and very effectively I might add) and also gives him that deep-throat type sensation. All I have to do is concentrate on the tip of his penis and before long, we are done and he's a happy camper. My "Black Orchid" is my BEST FRIEND when it comes to this (and one of my best-selling products too).

When He's Ready to Climax

When he gets close to ejaculation, don't stop! You'll know it's time because he is either telling you, making some pretty intense noises, or his body is thrusting out of control. At this point, try to continue doing what he likes best and keep up a good rhythm and pace. He might take your head in his hands and guide you with the speed he wants. This is okay as long as you're comfortable with it and it's not hurting you. Once he's climaxed, start easing up right away. A man's penis is can be highly sensitive after having a mind-blowing orgasm like the one you've just given him so he may not want to be touched there at all for a little while.

As you can see, you don't have to be a porn star to give good oral sex! You just have to try different things and communicate with your partner while you're doing it. Once you get good at it, you'll be able to help him reach orgasm more quickly and effectively and then get on to other things (like kissing and cuddling). After awhile, it won't seem like such a bother to you and he'll be in heaven because he's getting more oral sex.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT "RECEIVING" ORAL SEX (WOO HOO!)

[Ladies, you might want to have your partner read this!]

When it comes to oral sex, so many of the ladies at my parties admit that they love "getting" way more than they like "giving". Why is this?

Many women find that they can achieve an orgasm much easier during oral sex than they can during actual intercourse. The reason for this is because their clitoris is being directly stimulated. Our clitoris contains over 8,000 nerve endings (even more than a penis head). So it goes without saying that it's the most sensitive organ of the human body.

Some women like to begin with oral sex to get "in the mood". It's a great way to get her "turned-on" and properly lubricated for penetration. Other times she may prefer that you keep going until she reaches orgasm. Either way, you're doing something right!

Here's a little clitoris fun fact: The clitoris is the only organ on the human body (male or female) that serves "one (and only one) purpose" and that's for experiencing pleasure. So, it's a pretty special place and should be treated accordingly. I love to refer to it as the "Center of the Universe".

I believe that when a man performs oral sex on a woman it's one of the most sensual and intimate acts he can do. Especially if he's honestly enjoying the pleasure he's giving her. She can become putty in his hands. He can also experience her orgasms up close and personal which I think is a great "turn-on" for him.

The tongue is one of the body's strongest muscles so the possibilities of what a man can do for a woman orally are unlimited. Women like a variety of tongue techniques just like men do (so as not to get bored). They like the warmth and wetness your tongue brings but it's important to start slowly and "take your time". There's no such thing as a "quickie" when it comes to giving a woman fabulous oral sex.

Tease and Tempt Her

When a woman gets "turned-on", her clitoris becomes engorged with blood (just like a penis does) and becomes ultra-sensitive and wants to be touched. Try taking your time before you actually indulge it with your tongue. Slowly touch and lick her inner thighs, her stomach and eventually go to her vagina (everywhere but the clitoris). Prolong the sensation and make her really want it.

When you do finally touch your tongue to her clitoris she's going to melt (and probably make some very sexy noises) and move her body up and down (and all around). You'll know when you're doing it correctly. If she ever becomes "too sensitive" for a few minutes or if you think she's going to climax too quickly take your tongue back off and caress other parts of her body in the meantime.

Use Your Tongue in Various Ways

Let your tongue explore her entire genital area. Make sure you lick her inner and outer labia (vaginal lips). You might want to lightly suck them as well (if she likes that). Change your tongue positions. Switch off using the tip of your tongue and then the flat part. Try beginning at her vagina and lick up to her clitoris like she's an ice cream cone. Put your tongue "inside" her vagina and quickly flick it in and out. Remember to never "blow" into her vagina (it's dangerous). Biting is off-limits as well (not even little nibbles).

Use your voice (by humming or moaning) when giving her oral sex. This creates a slight vibration effect which can feel really good.

Use Your Fingers at the Same Time

You can also put your finger inside her vagina to simulate the fullness she gets from intercourse. Be sure your fingers have clean, well-groomed nails and are lubricated lubricated sufficiently. "Slippery" slides in and feels better. You might want to massage her g-spot at the same time you're licking (or sucking) her clitoris. Talk about "blowing her mind"!

Communication

Just as with any sex act, what works for one woman isn't going to be every other woman's "cup of tea" so encourage her to communicate to you what she wants and likes. Don't feel offended if she doesn't like a particular way of doing it. Just be glad she's telling you what she "does" like. Communication during sex is very "hot". Listen to her and reassure her that you only want to do what's most pleasurable for her.