Make-Up Sex. Is It Healthy and Why Do We Like it So Much?

Make-Up Sex

Why is it that when you first have a fight, the last thing on your mind is the thought of having sex with your partner? You have such feelings of anger, frustration (maybe even disgust), that that last thing you can fathom doing is letting him put his hands on you. But then something happens. Before long, and maybe after a few apologies (and a little sweet-talk) from him, you find yourself feeling "turned on" and ready to drag him to the bedroom and do things to him that would make your mama blush? This situation you sometimes find yourself in is known as "make-up sex" and we've all participated at least once or twice (smile).

Is your mind and body betraying you when you experience such a quick-turn around with your feelings and emotions? Actually, no. It's a very normal reaction and, in some situations, can be amazingly healthy for your relationship.

In fact, because sex and intimacy is the time when two people connect most deeply, make-up sex can be the saving grace for relationships that are otherwise struggling. Connecting with our partner at this level can sometimes remind us what we loved about them in the first place and keep us "hanging in there" when the going gets rough. The intimacy you share during make-up sex can be a non-verbal way of saying "I'm sorry" and can have immense healing powers for any hurt that was caused.

Why Is Make-Up Sex Steamier And More Exciting?

What's happening physically to your body during an argument is an increase in your adrenaline levels. When this angst and anxiety gets channeled into sex, it may lead to some of the most intense sexual energy two people experience together. In fact I've had women tell me at my parties that make-up sex allowed them to let down their inhibitions and do things that they wouldn't normally do (i.e., talking dirty, etc.). As a result it brought out a side of them they didn't know they had, which actually made their sex life more interesting in the long-run.

Let's face it, make-up sex is exciting and can be like having sex for the first time again. It's more intense, hotter, raw and animalistic. Many times it can lead to some of the strongest and most intense orgasms a person has ever had (BONUS!) Most often, a little bit of the anger from the argument carries over and it allows you and your partner to release that pent-up energy with the aggressive, physical lovemaking that make-up sex brings (I'm getting excited just thinking about it, aren't you)?

Women love make-up sex because men tend to be more cuddly and affectionate afterwards (which we thrive on and sometimes don't get nearly enough of).

For men, the act of make-up sex can be an honest, heart-felt way of communicating to you that he wants everything to be okay. He puts everything he has into it and it's his way of saying let's make this situation better and let's make everything "good" again. Let's end this adversity.

A great session of make-up sex does wonders for your physical and emotional state. It releases endorphins (a feel-good hormone) and reduces the stress from your disagreement. It brings back your loving attitude towards your partner and helps you put things back into perspective.

Can Make-Up Sex Be Unhealthy?

Yes, make-up sex can wander into dysfunctional territory if it's being used solely to initiate sex with your partner (or vice versa). In other words if you're in a relationship where one of you (or both) finds yourself arguing just for the sake of having make-up sex, take another look at what's going on. Some couples are looking for a "high" to keep their connection hot, but resorting to disagreements to obtain that can be dangerous. If it always takes a knock-down drag-out battle to keep things interesting sexually, then the next step should be couples counseling.

Conclusion

Make-up sex can be fun and exciting but it's important to make sure you're participating "when you're ready". If you feel you're being forced into it before you've had enough time to work through your emotions, it's okay to say no. Just make sure you're not feeling like you're compromising yourself and "giving in" too soon. That will just cause resentment later on. After all you want to be in an emotional position to reap the benefits from great make-up sex!