Some women are confused about the difference between Dildos and Vibrators. Many times the word “dildo” gets used for all adult toys whether they vibrate or not. The fact is that the two are similar but not created equal. A dildo does NOT vibrate but can be used in some of the same ways that a vibrator can. They come in all shapes, sizes, materials and colors. They can be used for external use only or can be used for penetration wherever you find it to be enjoyable. This includes vaginal or anal. Some women experiment with these non-vibrating sex toys first so they can get used to the idea of using a toy and then switch over to something that needs batteries. However, some women never switch.
If you find that feeling of “fullness” and “soft pressure” completely enjoyable, then you might never feel the need to try a toy that vibrates. For instance, many women like the sensation of dildo penetration at the same time their partner is performing oral sex on them. Others like the idea of anal play but find that their actual male partner is too “large” for that area so they use a small dildo that feels more comfortable to use “back there”.
What’s It Made Out of?
They can be made out of several materials including latex, plastic, jelly, rubber, silicone and even glass. In fact, in days past they were made out of things like wood, metal, stone and ceramic. I personally think the best material to look for in a dildo is a good-quality silicone. These have far surpassed the jellies, latexes and rubbers that lots of adult toys have been made out of for years.
Silicone is non-porous meaning it doesn’t contain the microscopic pores that some of the other materials have. Why is this a good thing? It’s possible for these pores (even though they’re tiny) to harbor bacteria and makes them harder to keep clean. If you already have a non-silicone adult toy and you find yourself getting vaginal infections even though you’re sure you cleaned it last time you used it, this could very well be the reason for your discomfort.
For extreme germophobes, silicone dildos can even be boiled in a pot of boiling water or thrown into the dishwasher (top rack only) if you wanted to be certain of their sterility but a good adult toy cleaner will suffice in keeping your toy squeaky clean, germ free and safe for use.
Also, importantly, a good quality silicone adult toy will be “Phthalate-Free”. What are Phthalates you ask? They are chemicals that plasticize and soften the vinyl that is used in everything from home goods, building materials, children’s toys, tubing and even clothing. And yes, they are even used to “soften” plastic adult toys to make them more pliable and lifelike. Phthalates are cheap and easy to use. Adult toys with phthalates are “porous”, meaning they can break down over time and release these chemicals into your body.
Is this harmful? As of now, studies are still inconclusive. Some studies have shown harmful effects in laboratory rodents, but only when they were given very large doses of the chemicals. Other studies have shown no adverse health risks from them at all.
What is my theory? Better safe than sorry! Personally, I think that, just to be on the safe side, buy adult toys without Phthalates while the studies are still going on and until they scientifically prove something either way. Buy good-quality silicone, Phthalate-Free adult toys. Or if you already own adult toys that are not Phthalate-Free (or you’re just not sure about), simply slip a condom over them when you use them to at least creat a barrier between you and the toy.
You will know your adult toys contain these chemicals if they have that strong plastic smell (like a new shower curtain), especially when you first open them. Also, if you lick the toy and it causes a tingling sensation on your tongue, it probably has Phthalates.
Glass is another safe and fun alternative. See my Article on Glass Toys.
How is Your Dildo Shaped?
I’ve seen all kinds and some of them are pretty amusing. I’ve seen realistic penis-shaped ones and I’ve seen some that look like bumpy dill pickles (and everything in between). Some people like the idea of their adult toys looking like the real thing and others absolutely do not want the real look and feel. They are more comfortable with a dildo that looks like something from outer space. In fact, some women have told me that their male partners feel more secure about using a toy together when it doesn’t look like a penis (hence, no competition). Other men don’t care either way.
Also, do you want a toy with an extreme curve to massage the g-spot (Read here for more about the “G-Spot”) or the prostate? Do you want a smooth surface for quick, slick strokes. Or does a multi-ribbed texture sound more appealing so you can take it slow and really “feel” the grooves. Think about your body and what you have enjoyed in the past (pre-toy) to get an idea as to what you might want to try. Not sure? Be adventurous! If something looks intriguing give it a shot.
Is Size Important?
Absolutely! The size that works best for YOU is what’s important. One factor in determining size depends on how you want to use your dildo (whether anally or vaginally). Most women (and men alike) want something smaller for anal use, whereas women who are using their dildo for vaginal penetration have a variety of choices. Some women get really excited thinking about trying a really “big one”, whereas other women are just thinking “ouch” and “no way” am I going to go there. It’s all about how your body responds to size.
Some dildos have a suction cup base, making it attachable to hard surfaces like shower tiles, dishwasher and fridge doors, or even a full-length mirror. This allows you to play in new, unusual places and think up new positions. Sometimes these suction-cup bases can fit into a strap-on harness for more adventurous play. Other dildos are even double-ended. I’ll leave that one to your imagination!
If you’re just not sure experiment with a couple less expensive dildos and see what gets your “motor” going. Then you can work your way up to a more costly and better quality toy that you can then have around for a long time. Remember, we’re all different and beautiful in our own ways and we all like unique things. There is no “right” or “wrong” when it comes to using adult toys as long as you’re doing it in a safe, healthy way.
